An e-mail from a psycho bride to the 10 “lucky” friends she chose as bridal slaves is circulating the internet this week. The fact that this e-mail is out, and on the Yahoo! homepage for that matter, proves she’ll only being having 9 maids as one obviously declined the oh-so-sweet invitation to be a part of “the most epic wedding” ever.
I’ve been a bridesmaid six times, with my seventh appearance rapidly approaching and while it’s been wonderful to celebrate the wedded bliss of a family member or friend, no wedding is without its share of stress. Expensive dresses, conflicting schedules, travel costs, an updo that looks more like an up-don’t, bridezilla attitude, bridesmaid-zilla attitude for that matter… Being in a bridal party is sometimes rough, but here’s my survival guide to being a bridesmaid without losing a friend:
1) Perspective – The sweet friend you once knew may suddenly be gone, her demands are crazy and her dress choice is poor, but remember it’s her day. Sure, you’re spending a lot of money on a dress you’ll probably never wear again, but if teal taffeta is her dream then suck it and smile knowing that one day, you’ll have the chance to put her in a ridiculous dress. Perspective also helps when dealing with a headstrong fellow-bridesmaid. I’ve actually never had a friend be a bridezilla, but have encountered a challenging bridesmaid or two. You don’t want to tell the bride that her beloved bestie from high school is a closeted monster, so try to be a grown up and remember you’ll never have to see her again after the wedding (hopefully).
2) Save your pennies – Perhaps the most difficult part about being in a wedding party is the financial burden. Sure she picked a cheap dress, but then there’s the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, hair, nails, make-up, shoes, gifts, travel expenses, etc. I’ve spent over $1,000 on multiple weddings by the time it was set and done. If money is extremely tight, get clever with gift choices, do your own hair, nails and make-up and subscribe to websites like Travelzoo to find the best deals on flights and hotels.
3) Don’t be the bridesmaid b**** – Yes, we all want our friends to be celebrated properly and we find the fellow bridesmaid who’s cheaping out on every corner to be a poor representation of a friend, but multiple scathing e-mails pointing out that you “just want the bride to have a good time” and that you “truly known what she wants” are less than helpful. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and it’s important to be diplomatic when she suggests a self-serving bachelorette idea that you know the bride would hate.
No matter how bumpy the path can be when serving as a bridesmaid, when wedding day rolls around you’ll tear up when she walks down the aisle , dance your tail off with bridesmaid-beast and tipsily tell her “we should totally hang out more,” and all the drama will be long gone. After all, who hasn’t had a rough bridal party experience?