Is there any musical ensemble that has produced more sonic sewage and auditory abominations in the history of mankind than the Insane Clown Posse? For those of you have never heard of the Insane Clown Posse (you’re lucky) I’ll provide some background for you. The Insane Clown Posse consists of one morbidly obese ex-convict named Joseph Bruce and his moronic homeboy Joseph Utsler. Together Bruce and Utsler dress up like “wicked clowns” and make some of the most demented, perverted and imbecilic “music” the world has ever heard. After your read their violent, vicious, vulgar, and volatile lyrics it’s totally reasonable to infer that both men are psychopaths who would benefit from admittance to some type of mental health care facility. The content these clowns generate is no laughing matter.
They sing about brutally murdering and mutilating innocent people for fun, they sing about cannibals eating corpses and necrophilia, they write songs that feature graphic misogynistic lyrics about raping women, these two idiots even had the audacity to write a song about killing Santa Claus. I can’t comprehend how any human being who has ever walked our planet could be a fan of Insane Clown Posse except for Jeffery Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. The members of Insane Clown Posse possess no discernible musical talent and their lyrics make them appear to have IQs that hover somewhere slightly above the IQ of a cockroach but slightly below the IQ of a Chilean Warthog.
Most critics and consumers agree that the Insane Clown Possess (ICP) are a cancer to the music industry and an embarrassment to all Homo Sapiens. Critics have vehemently denounced ICP’s work since the band’s inception. Blender recently named ICP the worst artist in the history of music. One critic once wrote that the group uses “horrible production that turns every song into a cacophony of untimed noise.” I think that “noise”, not “music,” is the best way to classify the collage of sounds that ICP generates.
ICP makes Nickelback sound like the Beatles. When you compare Kesha’s lyrics to ICP’s lyrics Kesha ends up looking like Bob Dylan. I have a hypothesis that 99% of the population of the planet earth already hates ICP or would hate them if they ever heard the sonic trash they produce. ICP does have some fans, who are absolute freaks, that call themselves “Juggalos.” You can take a look at these jokers right here. The Juggalos look like the type of folks that make a lot of real positive contributions to our society.
ICP’s sales have been abysmal and DJs are as eager to play their music as they are to contract genital herpes or gonorrhea. Simply put, ICP are the least respected band in this galaxy. I was absolutely shocked to learn this month that Jack White reached out to ICP to collaborate on a new track. Why would Jack White, an extremely respected and esteem member of the music industry, want to work with repugnant sonic noisemakers like ICP? Why would a man who makes real music want to collaborate with a couple of buffoons who make sonic pollution?
Jack White achieved widespread commercial and critical acclaim for his work with The White Stripes. The White Stripes won 6 Grammy Awards and their song “Seven Nation Army” emerged as one of the biggest alternative rock anthems of the past decade. White also has found success as a member of The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather. In 2009 White was ranked #17 on Rolling Stone’s list of the Greatest Guitarists of All Time.
Throughout his career White has collaborated with Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, Beck, Jeff Beck and countless other revered musicians. In 2009 he joined The Edge and Jimmy Page to film the critically acclaimed documentary It Might Get Loud which revolved around the history of the electric guitar.
For some reason White decided, after working with a member of U2 and a former member of Led Zeppelin, that he wanted to work with ICP. The track they collaborated on features music from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, guitar work from White and lyrics from ICP about licking a gluteus maximus. You can listen to this musical abortion right here. I have to admit that I’ve lost a lot of respect for Jack White. I think that this song is the most surprising, appalling, and disappointing musical collaboration I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Somewhere the irises of Mozart’s soul are weeping an ocean of warm sour tears.